Everyone is TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT HOLIDAY COOKIES.

This morning, I got an email from one of my favorite nutrition writers, John Berardi of Precision Nutrition, which sounded an awful lot like what I’ve been saying to clients for the last few weeks when they come to me TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT HOLIDAY COOKIES. These are stressed people. Seriously unhappy people. Not exactly holiday cheerful. Because COOKIES. I had people TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT HOLIDAY COOKIES starting in early November, and I will continue to hear about COOKIES well into January. I’ve shared Dr. Berardi’s words below, but first, my take on this state of affairs.

As evidenced by my egregious use of capital letters, these are high volume, high intensity, high anxiety, high angst concerns. And I’m not trying to be mean about it: people are seriously suffering, and it’s very real. The problem is that we’re talking about cookies. In my mental landscape, a cookie is a palm-sized (or smaller, like those little round ones with the nuts inside and the powdered sugar – I love those) baked good that takes one to three minutes to eat depending on the size. However, for my friends of the freaking out, COOKIES are stomping through their mental landscapes crushing hopes and dreams like Godzilla having a very bad hair day.

The fear is real. It’s real, but it’s also a construction and a self-fulfilling prophecy. If a person starts thinking in November about how hard it’s going to be not to eat a certain food item in two months, and keeps thinking about how “bad” that food item is, and how she can’t control herself around that food item, it gives the damn thing an enormous amount of power. (It also ruins her November.) COOKIES are going to destroy her, she’s sure of it, and ensuring it. And of course, when late December rolls around, she’s going to eat them. How could you not eat something you’ve been debating about for two months? Will she enjoy the cookie? Survey says no. Because the minute it reaches her mouth, she’ll already be berating herself for how weak and bad and lazy and gross she is to have been subjugated by a COOKIE, rather than savoring its tasty flavor, reflecting on the family heritage the recipe represents or something else, you know, nice.

Because holiday cookies are nice. That’s about it. Some are tastier than others, some have memories associated with them, and some are kinda lame and taste like their cardboard box. But they really, really are a pretty minor, albeit pleasant, occurrence if you treat them as such.

Try this mindset on for size: Imagine yourself not thinking about holiday cookies until you’re actually faced with a plate of holiday cookies, perhaps at a party, perhaps on the table in the break room at work. Like, how you don’t think much about getting an oil change until it’s time to get an oil change. Now, assess the plate of cookies. Do you like this kind? Were they prepared by someone special? Are they appealing? Now, assess your level of hunger and your emotional state. Are you fairly full because you just ate a satisfying meal? Are you starting to feel that little nudge in the tummy that suggests it might be snack time soon? Are you bummed out and overwhelmed, or perhaps feeling a little festive? If you’re not too full, and not in an unpleasant emotional state where you’re more likely to be self-medicating than enjoying a treat, and there are cookies on the plate that are truly appealing to you, select the cookie that looks the best and eat it.  Feel free to take a bow.

Then walk away. Because you are not the cookie you just ate. You’re a mature adult human who, on occasion, when the moment is right, chooses to eat foods from the “treat” category because they are fun and nourishing in their own way. You’re not going to get fat. You’re going to get awesome. Because when COOKIES become just cookies, you get the power back, and you get to spend a lot more of your life thinking about other things that are a lot more interesting. Like, what to get your mother-in-law for Christmas. Or world peace. Or really anything.

(And, as a side note, if you are maybe still a little worried about the cookies: you’re much more likely to overeat the things if you treat them as a diet smashing super power, rather than a moderately enjoyable sometimes treat, because that’s how the restrict, binge, rinse, repeat cycle works. I promise, promise, promise you that you will eat fewer cookies if you allow yourself to enjoy them now and again than if you try to avoid all baked goods for two months and then go to your Nana’s house on December 25th.)

Now for the other guy’s take on things:

“My three little ones have been helping my wife and I with the usual chores: decorating the tree, creating cards with construction paper, preparing canned food donations for the local food pantry, and…making delicious cookies. But before you ask for my killer “healthy” cookie recipe, I have a confession: We’re not making not some low-fat, gluten-free, protein-packed, artificially sweetened, possibly-hiding-beets, “healthy” version of a cookie. Nope, we’re making the REAL THING. The kind of cookie that contains butter, sugar, and flour. The kind of cookie where you want a tall glass of milk to help wash it down. The kind of cookie most “nutrition experts” will tell you to avoid completely this year… Just dip some kale leaves into lemon juice with a splash of stevia and it’s exactly the same thing.

Anyway, when people learn that my family and I sometimes make treats like cookies…or go out for ice cream…or don’t eat 100% protein and vegetables all the time…they get a little confused. “But isn’t Precision Nutrition all about eating good foods and avoiding bad foods?” The answer, I’m proud to say, is no. Precision Nutrition is NOT all about eating “good” foods and avoiding “bad” foods. (I don’t even like those labels.) In a minute, I’ll share what Precision Nutrition is really about. But first I’m going to encourage you to enjoy some sort of cookie, cake, or cocktail this holiday season, too. In addition to songs, and friendship, and holiday cheer…

You see, every time you choose to eat one thing over another, you’re voting for what’s really important to you right now. Of course, you may not realize you’re doing that. But every decision IS a calculation. Of what really matters to you, in that moment. So, with the holidays here for most of us, what DOES matter to you right now?Is it… Feeling good? Connecting with loved ones? Truly nourishing your body? Feeding your soul? Remembering your heritage or family traditions? No judgement here. YOU get to decide your priorities. And  sometimes other things SHOULD win out over “nutrition”.

So I’m not here to tell you what to do, think, or feel. Or to make you feel guilty, ashamed, anxious, or deprived. Instead, I’m here to help you think through the question. To help you choose more consciously, with awareness and intention… Because shortbread and latkes taste great when made with love and shared with friends and family. They just do. And, while some people in fitness have a hard time with this notion, I think that feeling good is part of enjoying life and being healthy…

Here’s my first prescription: Enjoy a real cookie or two this holiday season! Or some other thing you enjoy but think is “off limits”. Just do it consciously, mindfully, and – as we teach in our coaching programs – slowly. Instead of scarfing it down and waiting for the guilt, taste what you enjoy. With intention. Then move on…

But even if you’re not ready to embrace this mindset yet because restricting is your only way to feel in control… Because you can’t believe that enjoying certain foods guilt-free is possible… Because you’re stuck in the middle of a nasty cycle of restrict, collapse, guilt, repeat… My family and I will still share some laughs, shed some tears, and nosh a few cookies this holiday season. We might even raise a glass of egg nog in your honor. Because, around here, we know that connection, love, and enjoyment CAN exist while working toward better health together. And we’re hoping that somewhere along they way you’ll discover the same thing.”

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